I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
