you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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