at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
