Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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