I want to make a zoo with you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
