Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
