Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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