I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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