am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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