I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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