just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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