You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
