Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
