Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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