Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
