so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well most of my day revolves around power hour
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
