Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
