oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Alive.
So much puke
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The air taste purple.
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