The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
