But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
