You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
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I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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