that's an acceptable place to lick
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
