She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
