shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
