so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
