I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
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OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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