I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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