Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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