If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
