my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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