oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
