I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
