Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
