Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We need to get me chipped asap
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
