doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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