you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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