I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
