I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
