Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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