I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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