I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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