dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This baby is an asshole
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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