i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The air was thick with penises
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize