WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
birth control should be required to get into college
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
