yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize