god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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