idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
