Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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