I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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