I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
