It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
