Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
