ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
try to milk me bitch
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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