absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..