I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that