Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.