i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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