Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
