If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
